easy does it

soooo... i've been on weight watchers for a month and folks, i am down 13.6 pounds. no really. sit back and think about that. 13.6 pounds. that's the size of a small dog. i have lost a chihuahua. or two. i am definitely okay with that. especially because it wasn't hard to do.

now really, i don't want this to turn into a "worship the all powerful weight watchers" blog, but good lord, 13.6 pounds. and i didn't have to resort to any of these to get there:

i like the color, and they were certainly comfy to sit on (squishy! awesome!) but they did NOTHING to slim my figure. false advertising, says i!

then i happened upon this lovely book and thought, hey! i'm great at crafts. i could make some fantastic exercise equipment and save some money by using common household objects to do so!

...but, no.

on the upside, you would not believe how strong my neck muscles are now.

counting points

well, i must say, my first week on weight watchers was not nearly as painful as i had imagined it to be. i pictured getting a daily allowance of 3 points to "use wisely" and having to decide between the bare lettuce salad and the 3 oz of fish because, let's face it, i couldn't have both on the diet. but no. no, i have eaten like a king (queen, i suppose) this past week. my menu has included spinach and feta stuffed chicken breasts and chicken enchilada soup. green vegetable minestrone and creamy chicken and spinach pasta. there is nothing "diety" about this diet, and i love it. not only do i get yummy foods, but folks, i can drink a beer a night and have an ice cream sandwich (for 2 points people. 2 points!) and still have more points than i know what to do with. if this isn't a diet designed with me in mind, i don't know what is.

to top it all off, i also get to geek out over the tracking of the points online. i would like to say that i am casual about updating, and get to it when i can, but let's be honest here. this is me. i run right over to the computer or access it on my phone (i wish i was joking) and update as soon as i am done eating. i love seeing the "points used" and "points left" and... oh it is just sick. but i will say, it has made me more aware of what i am putting in my body.

and as a result i have lost four pounds. that does not speak highly of what i was putting in my body before this (eek) but on the upside, at least i now have my trusty-rusty points to help guide me.

a new direction, perhaps

well. i think it's safe to say that we are all aware of the fact that my gym-going plans have gone straight out the window. sadly, any weight loss i had experienced while torturing myself on the elliptical disappeared as well. sigh.

i won't make excuses, at least not many. but i will say that i quickly discovered that it's hard to go to the gym when you work all day and have a child. putting him in a daycare right after you pick him up from one seemed wrong. the parental guilt i felt definitely outweighed my desire to be a size 2. perhaps this winter i'll rejoin, when it's so cold that we can't go outside and play anyway, and he can run and jump and climb things there. we'll see.

fear not though! until then, i have decided to try my hand at weight watchers. i've known quite a few people that have done well on it, and figured, what the heck. today is my first day with the points, and the counting, and the planning, and i must say it hasn't been bad. i thought i might balk at the idea of having to give a number to every little thing i ate, or feared that the numbers would add up so quickly that i would be left with 0 points by noon, and ready to chew my own arm off. i was delighted to find out that was not so. in fact, i had enough left over at the end of the day to drink a beer and have a small bowl of orange sherbet, with points to spare. i definitely was more aware of what i was putting in my mouth today, so we'll see how this goes.

and, since the title of this blog is "fat girl running" i'll try to get out there and keep moving too. noah loves walks, so hopefully we can get some of that in in the evenings. that way, i can continue to amaze you with my lack of grace and agility, and this blog will not turn into "fat girl dieting" which, i think we all know, can be a very grumpy, unpleasant girl indeed.

fat girl doing anything but going to the gym

sooo.... i have to admit. i have not done well in the blogging area this month. but to be quite honest, i haven't done well in the going to the gym area either. and by "not done well" i mean "i have not gone at all. not even once."

i have been much less "fat girl running" as i have been "fat girl sitting", "fat girl going to the park with my child", and "fat girl drinking yummy beer". do I regret this? ...not really. however, i really should get back in the swing of things. but seriously, when it's this nice out, how do you not want to go outside and enjoy it instead of quietly sobbing on the elliptical?

but still. must go. must get back on track. hippo life is not the life for me.

baby steps

some days, i think pig's goal is waaaaay better than mine. more delicious too.

sigh. back to the elliptical.

and now for something completely different

so i didn't make it to the gym this weekend. laziness has a hard hold on me. but i did go monday, and will hopefully squeeze in a few more before the end of the week. on a confusing note, my weight is the same this week as it was the week before. i don't even pretend to understand what my body is doing anymore.

on a completely unrelated note, this cracks me up:

silver lining?

Let's play the good news/bad news game for this week, shall we?

Good news: i've been eating healthy all week.
Bad news: i haven't made it to the gym.

Good news: i didn't gain the 5 pounds i expected as a result of my ham snarfing.
Bad news: i did gain one pound.

Good news: i'm planning on going to the gym saturday and sunday to try to restart my gym-habit.
Bad news: i have to go to the gym saturday and sunday.

Good news: maybe if i go to the gym, i will stop seeing this when i get on the scale.

Bad news: i apparently have some gnarly, manish looking feet. how embarassing.

ham coma

fairly certain this weekend was a fail. while saturday was good (went to the gym, ate reasonably healthy food, etc), i more than trashed that good work on sunday. between the swedish coffee cake, deviled eggs, and pounds of ham and mashed potatoes i consumed, it will be a miracle if i make it out of this week thought gaining 5 pounds. still, i regret nothing. well... i regret the stomach ache i had last night, and the ham hangover i have today... but other than that, nothing.

i'm back to eating healthy today and will be hitting the gym at least 3 times this week. right back up on the wagon people.

...now if only i could find a horse to pull it...

slow and steady wins the race?

so i did my weekly weigh-in tuesday night. i lost half a pound. seriously? not even a whole pound? i have pedalled my little heart out on that elliptical, eaten soups and salads, and had sensible dinners. i have all but given up soda. and i lost one measly half-pound???

apparently those assholes on the biggest loser make it look way easier than it is. and i keep telling myself that's not realistic. i can't be in the gym 8 hours a day and i do not have a scary lady yelling at me to "work harder dammit!" as i pull a car for a mile. but dammit, i want to step onto the scale after a week and have it show that i lost ten pounds. it was never this hard to GAIN ten pounds. why the hell are they so set on sticking around?

but i'm trying not to get too down on myself. i'm feeling healthier. and it could have been muscle gain. muscle does weigh more after all...

still, those biggest loser bitches better never meet me in a dark alley. it will not be pleasant for them.

hip hip hippo

having a hard time getting motivated to go the gym tonight. i'm pmsing and bloated, and just not feeling it.

i'm fairly certain that i look something like this today:

on the upside, hippo-me does still have kind of a snarky grin, so at least we know i'm still in there, somewhere.

hippity hoppity, easters on it's- get the hell away from me!

so anna and i went to the gym again this morning. arrived just in time for the childrens' easter egg hunt! what wonderful planning on our part! thankfully, the Y was smart enough to avoid hiding eggs on the upper level where the work out equipment is, thus ensuring that the children were not forced to hunt for eggs near a disgruntled woman who was sweating out the three beers she drank the night before. (what? i'm sure there was someone like that somewhere on the upper level. surely not me...)

anna and i continued to prove how incredibly adept we are at the gym. today we both forgot to start the timers on our ellipticals. about 15 minutes in (we think) we both realized that we had not pressed start. nope. hopped on, and just started pedaling our little hearts out. that is how dedicated we are. we see those machines and just can't wait to get started. no time to push buttons people! we've got calories to burn here!

but we did end up doing a full 30 minutes from the time we realized that, which means we ended up working out for closer to 45 minutes on the elliptical, versus 30. so in the long run, it was a good thing. and, by the time we were done, so was the easter egg hunt. which really worked out for the kids. for as scary as the fat lady mumbling death threats on the elliptical could have been for the children, seeing a red-faced fat lady pour sweat and groaning as she left the gym might have been equally traumatic.

Shown Up

i went to the gym by myself last night. anna has events this week in the evening so i do not have my gym buddy. but i figured, no big deal. it's not like you talk a lot when you're working out anyway, right?

so i stepped on the elliptical, pumped up "you give love a bad name" on my mp3 player (that's right. i work out to some awesome music) and started to go to town. and i was feeling pretty good about myself. i kept a steady rhythm, and only prayed for death twice in the first fifteen minutes. not bad, if i do say so myself. but then... then i realized why it is so important to have a gym buddy to work out next to you.

as i am huffing and puffing, i notice a little old lady, who has to be at least 80, step onto the elliptical next to me. and i'm thinking "you go lady. way to stay healthy in your old age." ...my pleasant, supportive thoughts quickly ended however, when this grandma starts pedalling at a breakneck pace. she doesn't even break a sweat. and then, to add insult to injury, she whips out a sudoku book and a pencil and starts solving number puzzles! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i can barely tell you my own name when i am working out, much less strategically arrange numbers.

shown up by an octogenarian. shameful.

given, anna can run cicles around me (literally), but at least she isn't mean enough to mock me with her numeric problem solving skills while she's doing it.

Fat Girl Running. Or waddling. Whatever.

so awhile ago i decided to step on my scale and "see where i was at". apparently i am "at" jabba the hut stage. what. the. fuck. how did this happen? how do i get rid of all this? where do i find the motivation to stop eating delicious food and start losing weight? i know i have to. no one likes being fat. but i love cheese. and cake. mmm... cake.

sorry. i went off on a cake dream there for a minute. but yes. after recovering from the near heart attack i had (from the shock people, not from my (very likely) clogged arteries), i immediately started googling the price of treadmills. painful. on the upside, i discovered today that i do not weigh nearly as much as a treadmill costs. silver lining, folks.

still, changes need to be made. and so... anna and i have decided to start working out. it's probably a hilarious sight. the carey girls are not known for their athletic abilities, after all. however, we are super serious about it, and are seeing results! i have been working out for a week and have lost 3 pounds! it doesn't seem like a lot, but still, GO ME!!

because we are so super serious, we joined the Y and i am loving it (something i never thought i would say).

i'll probably look like this guy soon:



(that would be anna on the right.)